High Expectations…

I am currently reading “Kissing the Limitless” by T. Thorn Coyle (who is one of my favorite authors). The current section I am on is about what ideals we use to beat ourselves up because they are made up of unattainable images- this seriously struck a nerve with me. I recognized myself in this. There are many times I feel like a failure because I don’t fit my image of a priestess, a witch or a writer.

Exploring the subject of my ideals led me to understanding that I hold myself to incredibly high standards. Below are my ideals and assumptions regarding the different roles that I feel I hold or would like to have a place in my life. I share these with my readers, because I have realized despite how different and apart, I feel from the rest of the world, many other people feel similar things to what I do.

Witch- When I think of the word witch and what exactly that role entails; I imagine a woman with a knowing look on her face. She is eccentric and there is a wild, untamed and calm energy surrounding her. Her house is filled with oddities and magical tools. She spends her time working with Tarot cards, meditating, casting spells and working rituals. She is in tune with nature and has an answer or a charm for every question or situation. She is an enigmatic embodiment of magic.

Priestess- A Priestess is always calm, she lives spiritually centered. Her days are filled with devotional practice. She is confident and tuned into the Divine. Ritual and meditation are the main activities she spends her time doing. There is an otherworldly aura about her, and the Goddess whispers in her ear. She is a confident force to be reckoned with. She is contemplative and her life is monastic.

Sensitive- (Psychic) This woman talks to her spirit guides constantly; she also has a knowing demeanor and an otherworldly aura as she is constantly in communication with the spirit world. She knows what others don’t and she uses this knowledge to help people. She knows how to shield herself and she is in control of her sensitivities.

Writer- This woman is eccentric, driven and focused. She enjoys inspiration constantly. She is artistic and looks at the world in a way that others can’t. She has a pen and notebook with her, and she composes poetry and prose that is incredibly profound and will be world changing for her readers. She is imaginative and she lives with her characters. She is a witness to the love, joy, sadness and tragedy in life and she ensures through story telling that these things are witnessed.

Energy Healer- This woman is again completely tuned in; she can ease pain and discomfort. This woman can help with emotional or physical ailments, she can sense when something is wrong and has a way to treat it. She is a help to all those she meets, and she has a set routine and rituals to help them with what is bothering them. She has the answers.

Wife- This woman is loving, selfless keeps a perfect household, she handles work and the house, the shopping, she is a counselor and confidant to those in her house. She has it under control and she moves through her day with ease and grace.

I look at this list and I feel automatically like a failure, I feel tired and overwhelmed. All these terms describe the things I do in my life but at the same time there is no way that one person could be and do all this simultaneously- yet somehow, I would never expect all of this from one of my friends- yet I am expecting it from myself and chastising myself when I fall short.

We seem to have patience with other people and understand when they can’t do it all or be it all-, yet we expect to have and do everything in our own lives. I urge my readers to attempt what I am working on. When you start beating yourself up and calling yourself a failure; step outside yourself, look at what you are asking of yourself and then ask yourself if you would ask that much of someone else. What advice would you give to a friend who came to you for advice or support with just as many things and expectations on their place? Then Do for yourself what you would do for other people. Be patient, take the advice of taking a break and being conscious of limitations and allow yourself the space , rest and encouragement you need.