The Pressure We Put Ourselves Under

I realized that I have been procratinating writing in my blog, even though it is one of the things that brings me joy. I have been procrastinating writing in general, whether it is working towards my book project, or journaling. I kept coming up with reasons I couldn’t write just then, or filling my time with other things . It bothered me that I hadn’t written anything in at least a month when it came ot my journal and even longer here on my blog and longer than that when it came to my dream of writing a book. When I finally recognized this habit forming I began to analyze the why’s and how’s of it. How had I let so much time go by without setting my fingers to the keyboard or pen to paper? Why was I letting other things get in the way of my writing? Was I self sabotaging my dream?

As I questioned myself, my motives and my actions, it became very apparent that the reason behind these actions was that I was feeling immense pressure when it came to my writing. Now this pressure was not external, in fact it was very much coming from within myself. For some reason, I believed that I should only write if I had something incredibly profound, instead of just simply sharing my life and my words.

It dawned on me that I was placing undue expectaitons on myself and in so doing keeping myself from doing something that I greatly enjoy and furthermore I am keeping myself from much needed practice. I wonder how many people keep themselves from doing what they want or things that they have been dreaming of for a long time based off of undue expectations they have placed upon themselves.

Oddly enough the trick that helped me move past the procrastination was just the thing I was procrastinating. Once I took the time to write down my expectations and really look at thim in black and white, right in front of my face. To stare at the expectations and the fears that were holding me back, I was able to see how silly I was being, and then I was able to sit down write. I decided that it doesn’t matter if I was profound , as long as I was writing.

I started this blog many months ago, simply because I had the idea that perhaps sharing my journey and my life might just help someone else find their way. But then I began to censor or withold what I thought was boring, not inspirational or not important enough. That is something I want to change. I want to start just sharing. One of the things that had bothered me was that many witches who write tend to make it sound like everyday is magical and inspiring. They skip over the dulldrums of life, however, that is where some of the most interesting details of life are and these are things that I wanted to share, and I found myself putting pressure on me to do exactly the thing I had taken issue with.

So readers, please take a moment and think about what you have kept yourself from doing due to the pressure you put on yourself? Are these expectations or blacks reasonable? What can you do to move past them and actually do the things you want to do?