Day One… I had plans…

Last night I ended the day by performing an evening devotional- something that I have wanted to try for a while. I was energized and felt connected. I finished off by journaling and setting up to do a devotional in the morning.

I had plans of getting up with my alarm, take sometime to gently come to full awareness, perform my devotional and then start my day… I had plans, that is not how the day started. Instead I was woken up four minutes before my alarm by a phone call. My mother, sounding like a chattering blue jay, bouncing from limb to limb chittering and squawking excitedly. Now, I am not a morning person, and I had just laid down to sleep five hours earlier, so my original reaction was annoyance. But I got up, remembered my ritual from the previous night, found the humor in and made my way to my devotional altar. Resolved to perform my devotional. Now, I will admit that the performance of the devotional rite I did this morning, was not my ideal, it was not nearly as focused or as calm as I would have liked it, but I STILL made time for it. Previously, I would have foregone the ritual because the atmosphere, the feel was not right… I would find a reason to avoid it because I couldn’t do it perfectly. Today though, I changed my habit, I changed my reaction to stimuli and I made time. This is something we all need to do. Make time- yes it wasn’t ideal- WHEN IS LIFE EVER IDEAL? But it was my time and I did the work.

After finishing my ritual, able to laugh at the manner in which I was woken up, I got dressed shrugged off the inner critical voice that said that life wasn’t supposed to be like this today and that I was getting off to a bad start. Instead, I chuckled and said to myself- well this is how today is going to be, let’s get to it. I continued with the rest of my plans (sort of) I went to the store for the few small things we have been missing, this is a task I had been dreading and avoiding for a while; Since getting laid off I haven’t been out of the house that much-everyone else in my household has, they are still working and had stopped at stores on their way home for items that were pressing. But me, I had ensconced myself in my safe warm home, today I was going to the store for the first time in about a week and the difference I experienced was interesting to say the least.

Shelves that were normally stocked full of things were empty, I wasn’t sure if I could find everything on my list and there was a different energy around the shopping experience that normal. I know I should be anxious, I should be worried and concerned (trust me worried and concerned is the natural state of my being) however, today…the day I had plans, a day in the middle of a situation like most of us have not seen in our lives before, I am calm. I am capable of seeing the humor behind these experiences and I have a smile struggling not to come out (I am pretty sure that others would think there was something really wrong if I smile the way I feel like smiling). I feel a “knowing” deep down that I can’t seem to explain.

After making my purchases, we left the store and grabbed a bite to eat (a relatively normal event) except that we couldn’t go inside and sit down, so instead we went through drive thru then take it to the park where we sit in our car and eating it. Somehow, the feel of the sun on my arm is blessedly normal and yet a reminder of how strange the world has become. I must say I was more mindful today than I have been in a long time. I truly tasted the hamburger that I ate, I was aware of the sun, the wind and the precious moment I was getting to spend with my mother.

Once home, I managed to mark off one of the things on my list- clean the living room, and I must say that I am filled with pride over the good job that I have done with it. Again I have a moment of mindfulness and I, for once take the time to appreciate my effort and the result it brings about. The last thing on my list is writing and meditating. I am currently working on the prior and will soon work on the latter.

The point of this long story is: Despite the day starting completely differently than I had planned I was still able to complete my list and I could do it with grace. This is a great moral for life. We all make plans and generally nothing goes as planned, but when we are centered and grounded we can go with the flow, remain graceful and calm and still accomplish our goals.